So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
