I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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