Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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