He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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