I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize