It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
