i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
