If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
