check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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