If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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