She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
