god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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