You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
