Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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