Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize