absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
