i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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