do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
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Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.