I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over