I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I didn't shave. On purpose
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
