I wish I could teleport
everyone is single if you try hard enough
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize