Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

I'll start drinking again when I know where I am

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face

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(248): View more from Michigan

about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.

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(309): View more from Illinois

We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?

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(305): View more from Florida

Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.

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(361): View more from Texas

Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.

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(509): View more from Washington

Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?

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(479): View more from Arkansas

You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.

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(805): View more from California

Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.

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