what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
