Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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