getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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