dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
