dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
