so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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