she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
