u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
