I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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