Just fell off a train. Bad.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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