Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize