Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
