He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
