I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
