Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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