is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
