when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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