who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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