first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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