my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
