he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Your face is a jimmy john
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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