Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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