My nipple is on Facebook.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
