Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
