lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
