I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my phone needs a breathalizer
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
