I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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