your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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