she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
