listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
