is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
