if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
