My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize