Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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