i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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