He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
