My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
