the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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