can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
